When Dealing With a Determined Watson
by TheDoctor'sDearestCompanion
Summary: Sherlock is ignoring John, but John is determined to get his point across. One-shot, Johnlock.


A/N: Hey there! :) Just wanted to drop in and mention a few things. First of all, reviews are very much appreciated. Even if you only have one or two words to say, I will take them to heart! Also, this has NOT been beta-ed, so any mistakes are mine and mine alone. Lastly...

Disclaimer: Nothing affiliated with BBC's Sherlock is owned by me. NONE of it is mine.

And as always, thanks for reading!

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When dealing with a determined Watson, do not, under any circumstances, ignore what he is saying. He will most likely bite you.

Sherlock Holmes found this out one evening in an unfortunate, but very fortunate, sort of way. Having just arrived home from a very abhoricious (having the qualities of being both abhorrent and delicious) day of _not_-solving crime, he quickly took his customary seat on the sofa and did what Sherlock always does in the middle of a case with no leads – he took a quick (read – lengthy) trip into his mind palace.

Which, unfortunately for him, was not what John Watson was either expecting or hoping for when he arrived home only twenty minutes later.

If said detective had been paying attention, he might've deduced that John had been out at the pub, accompanying Lestrade and a few others from the Yard, and with the help of a reasonable amount of alcohol and some not-so-subtle teasing, he had come upon a realisation. And if Sherlock had bothered to look up, he might've noticed the fact that the army doctor was staring at him with an unfamiliar light in his eyes – in fact, if he'd bothered to greet John Watson at all, he might even have catalogued a plethora of signs that all pointed to the same conclusion.

But at that precise moment, Sherlock Holmes was very absorbed in the contents of the bottom half of the third tower of his mind palace (dedicated to All Sorts of fruit and fruit products, including strawberry jam, but not banana bread, which Sherlock hated) and simply could not be bothered to interact with the outside world at all.

"Sherlock?"

_Raspberries. Raspberry ketone. **C**__10_**_H_**_12_**_O_**_2__. Used in many products, both in the food industry and in cosmetics. Commonly thought to aid weight loss, though studies were inconclusive. Perhaps should recommend to Mycroft._

"I've been... thinking. And before you make some smart-arse remark about that statement, I just want to say that this is important to me and if you mock me for what I'm about to say, I might just hit you."

Not stirring a centimeter, Sherlock took the passive approach to the current dilemma of John's unhelpful blathering.

"This has been weighing on my mind for a while now. I probably should've mentioned it sooner, but I thought maybe I could live with it... ignore it. Thought maybe it'd go away."

Sherlock wished John would do just that.

"But it hasn't. It's been distracting me for weeks, and I can't skirt around it anymore. I know you've probably already deduced all of this, but I need to say it aloud for myself."

_Strawberries. One of the least repulsive foods on the planet. Quite pleasant when included in pies. John enjoys them in the form of jam._

Sudden silence. Blessed silence. And then...

"Sherlock, are you ignoring me?" A soft sigh, through the nose, probably because his teeth were gritted in frustration.

_Mangoes. Can be found in many tropical climates. The theory that one can increase the intensity of a high by consuming mangoes one hour before smoking marijuana has been both tested and confirmed._

"I don't know if you've noticed, but this is just a _bit _important to me. I'd appreciate it if you actually listened for once."

_But that would be dull. Kiwifruit. Kiwifruit are not dull. Kiwifruit are rich in vitamin C._

"Bloody hell." An angry, under-the-breath curse, born as an outlet to relieve stress and a ploy to get Sherlock's attention. It's life was a meaningless one.

"You know, of all the times you could ignore me, this really isn't the best one."

_Figs. Very useful in promoting healthy bowel functions and regulating blood pressure because of the high quantities of fiber and potassium they contain._

"Sherlock."

_Watermelon. Ninety-two percent water, the remaining eight percent filled with lycopene, an anti-oxidant that promotes prostate health – among other things._

"I love you."

_To summarise: Fruit. Generally edible for most humans, unless allergic. Exceptions being poisonous varieties._

_Application to this situation: none at all. (Exiting third tower. Entering the fifth room off of the third hallway on the lowest basement floor.)_

Sherlock had always found emotions to be messy and unnecessary. There was only one reason that they were included in Sherlock's mind palace, and that was because the overruling motive behind most crimes was an emotional one. Otherwise, he would have deleted all knowledge of them long ago.

But curiously, he found himself slightly pleased that he hadn't.

"You really aren't listening, are you?" _Subtle changes in vocal tone indicate the onset of disappointment._

"Or you just don't care." _Short, flat vocal tone accompanied by another sigh – the release of built-up tension: Resignation._

"Right. I should've known. I'll just..." _No movement. Directly in contradiction to the speaker's implication of the intention to leave. Possibly having trouble deciding between multiple choices of action...?_

Nothing. No more softly spoken words, no more nervous fiddling with the hem of his jumper, no more giving second or third chances for Sherlock to respond. No more.

"Oh, sod it all." Sherlock, listening so carefully to John's every movement, nearly quirked a brow at John's quiet exclamation before remembering that he was supposed to be in his mind palace, solving the case.

Sherlock prided himself on his senses, hearing being one of his best, but he would later chide himself on being so completely taken by surprise when a pair of soft, warm lips pressed firmly to his own.

His eyes flew open. John.

Right above him. Hands moving to grasp his upper arms (_brachialis anticus_), holding him in place. Mouth moving against his own, gentle and passionate _(John tastes of Guinness and strawberry jam)._

_Good. Very, _very_ good._

If Sherlock found himself quite eagerly kissing John Watson back, hands carding through his fine, blond hair, it was only because that was exactly what he'd been wanting to do for very nearly three weeks, ten days, and seventeen hours.

And if he paused for a moment during that rather enjoyable exchange to whisper to John that love was an inconvenient and confusing emotion that he had been suffering from for quite some time, he only did so for a moment, before adding that it was all John's fault and he certainly intended to make him pay for it.

Teeth pressed sharply into the tender flesh of Sherlock's neck, a mark already forming on the skin, and the good doctor whispered a promise in his ear. A promise that made Sherlock's entire body shiver in anticipation.

When dealing with a determined Watson, do not, under any circumstances, ignore what he is saying. Unless, of course, you _want _to get bitten.


End file.
